Survival guide Oslo marathon

• Don't panic

You'll get through. Somehow. And pain is temporary you know. I promise

• Stick to your stupid plan 

Changing or ignoring your plan the last days is actually more stupid than your plan. This involves changing in either of the elements training, clothes, eating and equipment. Trust me on this one.

• Pick up your bib before the rush

Simply a very good advise to save your legs and spirit. Your goodiebag is poor and rubbish despite this. Unfortunately. And I´m sorry if you had great expectations. Go read Dickens instead. 

• On your marks 

Big events involve a lot of people. Not all of them know how masses move and work. Actually it seems to be very few that knows. Plan your toilet needs and deliver your bag approx 30 min before your start time (check your start group time!) 

• Be aware of confused people

The people in Oslo rarely see a big event in the city centre. They don't know how to deal with it. They don't accept closed streets. They may very likely cross the street with no margin to your running. Bringing a stroller or a bike or a grandma is wrongly correlated to their margins

• Leave your music behind (or at home)

You are most likely not the fastest runner, so please accept that other runners will like to pass you.   To that you might need your ears free

• Be happy 

Put a smile on your face, at least the first part of your race. Remember you paid money for this shit, so try to enjoy as much as possible. 

• Don't cut the curve 

It is really bad behaviour to cut another runners curve. I am not talking about boobs and you know it. Just don't cut the curve

• Move it 

It is time to speed up. Finish line is just around the corner even if you neither can see it or feel it. Don't give a shit about you being tired, you still have more left in your legs. Don't listen to the stupid and tired voice - just speed up. If you are not kissing the street it is not good enough. Sorry. But it is not

• Go home

Collect your stuff. Take your selfies and brag about it. Then a shower, warm and dry clothes, plus some energy might be a good idea

Not running Oslo marathon? Well, luckily I have a challenge for you as well. Christmas is coming up (I've heard). And this year will be very special. Trust me on this one: time is limited!